


The Importance of Sarcasm

by yawnnnn



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff, How Do I Tag, It almost looks like Logicality I swear it's not, Logic | Logan Sanders-centric, M/M, One Shot, Plot twist: No one is straight, Romance, Sarcasm, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, This is actually my first work in this fandom so apologies if I had some bad characterization, wholesome shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-04
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-16 22:07:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29831589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yawnnnn/pseuds/yawnnnn
Summary: Out of all the things that could’ve been his soulmate’s first words to someone like Logan, who,as Virgil often described him, ‘was as gay as the day was long’, it had to be:“No, Logan, I’m straight.”Brilliant.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Morality | Patton Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Loceit
Comments: 10
Kudos: 110





	The Importance of Sarcasm

**Author's Note:**

> For content warnings: Food mention, very very mild swearing

“I am gay.” He said.

“Yes. I know.”

“So who decided my soulmate should be straight?” Logan asked, with exasperation, albeit a bit more than a  _ little  _ frustrated after all these years of wondering. It was beyond him how the words on his arm made any logical sense at all. He was very confident in his sexuality, and at this point nothing was going to change his mind. So… why?

Why were his soulmate’s first words, written on his arm in infuriatingly fancy cursive, ‘No, Logan, I’m straight’? 

Virgil, sitting across the table from him, rolled his eyes and continued to poke at the cafeteria food that Logan knew Virgil hated with a burning passion. “That’s like… the fiftieth time you’ve asked that since we became friends. Who knows, maybe your soulmate was like--  _ soooo  _ interested in you after they met you that you changed their  _ entire  _ sexuality or something.” He snorted, and Logan just sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as he did so. 

“Sorry, not really good at all this mushy soulmate stuff. Anyways, about the group project in science.” Virgil droned on, hoping to distract Logan from his constant soulmate dilemma.

“Yes, about it.” Logan accepted the distraction easily, hoping to divert his attention to  _ anything  _ but this. “The amount of people in our group has to be four, right? I say we take Patton and Janus.” He’d been thinking about said decision for a while, noting that Janus, while sarcastic and disruptive in class, was actually very smart, and Virgil was very comfortable with Patton. Not to mention that Janus had caught his interest from the beginning of the year, and this would be the perfect opportunity to talk to him.

“Aren’t they like… both? Gay though? Granted, Patton is pan, but still--” Virgil began, only to be interrupted by Logan.

“I don’t believe anyone knows anything about Janus, especially his sexualtiy.” Logan quipped, confused at the sudden knowledge of it.

Virgil just looked at him skeptically and snickers, slapping the table as if something was funny. Logan didn’t get it. Janus was a man of mystery, surrounded by lies and a veil of sarcasm. He thought that everyone was aware of that. 

“Please, Logan, his sexuality is like the  _ only  _ thing that people know for a  _ fact  _ is true about Janus. Your subconscious gaydar is accurate as always, weatherman.” Virgil scoffed, taking a sip out of his drink.

“Again, me being able to tell if someone is queer or not does not define me as a weatherman, Vir--” Logan stopped speaking as the school bell rang, starting to pack up his things and helping Virgil get his stuff in order. He decided not to continue that thought, instead opting to walk with Virgil to their shared science class, and then have to deal with his weird romantic interest in a suspicious looking man that he has just  _ barely  _ found out was gay. If science was not his favorite class, he would’ve been in a slightly worsened mood. 

He finally arrived at science class, taking his seat in the back next to Virgil’s and ignoring the usual beginning of class chatter. The teacher eventually started talking about the project, telling everyone to form groups. 

Virgil spoke as soon as the teacher dismissed them to create their groups of four. “I’ll get Janus, you get Patton. Go.” He started towards Janus without waiting for him to agree, hunching over through the crowds that Logan knew he hated going through. He was aware that Virgil considered Patton like a father to him, and felt very comfortable with the peppy friend. So, why’d he go to get Janus? He couldn’t think about it though, as he was already beelining for Patton. It wouldn’t be beneficial to disappoint Virgil, after all. 

Patton turned around as soon as Logan tapped him on the shoulder. “Oh, Logan! Hi there!”

“Virgil requests your presence in our group.” Logan said, blunt. 

“Well of course!” Patton giggled. “I was just looking for him myself, so I’m glad that you asked.” Patton headed over to Logan and Virgil’s desks in the back. Janus along with Virgil was already there, so it seemed Virgil’s side of the recruitment had been successful. That only made Logan more nervous. 

“So, Virgil, may I  _ so kindly  _ ask why you suddenly asked me to be a part of your group?” Janus said, leaning on the desk with a sly smile on his face. Virgil glared, looking to Logan to explain. Logan, however, was much too focused on how graceful Janus was. Of course he had noticed before, but up close it was a different experience. Unrelated, but he was also gay. Very much so.

“Logan’s gaydar went off on accident and he wantedyoutojointhegroup.” Virgil word vomited, covering his mouth in regret. Logan gave him a look that he hoped Virgil could read as ‘I’m not angry, just disappointed.’ Virgil seemed to catch on, soon trying to cover up with “he also thinks you’re smart.” 

Janus just responded with a dry laugh, still focused on Virgil. “Well that’s a shame, Virgil, you see…”

Suddenly, he turned to Logan, twirling a strand of hair around his finger. 

“No, Logan, I’m  _ straight _ .” His voice sang, sarcastic and clearly meaning the opposite of what he said. 

_ Oh my god. _

Logan’s eyes widened in a mix of happiness, surprise, and disgust at the same time, and it was rare enough to feel one emotion that strongly, not to mention all three. Virgil, knowing what Logan’s arm had said for a long time now, just burst out in laughter, slamming the desk with his hand. Patton looked around confused, and Janus just continued staring. 

Logan, famous for thinking, famous for logic, famous for brain, couldn’t help but throw all of that renown aside and mutter, directly to Janus:

“Sarcastic ass.”

Janus blinked, surprise falling on his face. He sneered at Logan, rolling his eyes. 

Virgil spoke up in the middle of it, placing a hand on Patton’s shoulder. “I think they’re gonna need a moment, dad.” Patton just smiled and nodded, following Virgil to the other side of the room, Virgil still on the verge of laughing tears all the way. 

“So.” Logan said, clearly. 

“ _ So. _ ” Janus repeated, mockingly. 

Logan sat down at the desk, ready to begin this confrontation so they’d still have enough time to efficiently progress on the science project. “My apologies. ‘Sarcastic ass’ is not a fun tattoo to have from birth, but you’ll have to know, as a very gay man, having ‘no, I’m straight,’ is not exactly preferrable either.”

Janus laughed, burying his face in his hands. “Whoever came up with soulmates didn’t even put it in  _ italics  _ or something? To clarify the sarcasm like the writers in books usually do?” He laughed into his palm, and Logan couldn’t help but smile. He’d had the same thought shortly after they’d met. 

“No, you’d think ‘whoever came up with soulmates’ would be more clever.” He mused.

Janus chuckled, placing a hand on Logan’s shoulder as he leaned up and motioned for Patton and Virgil to come back over. “Well, luckily I got stuck with a clever one.” 

Logan nodded. “I could say the same for you.”

The other seemed happy at the words, holding out a hand for Logan to take. “Let’s start over. My name is Janus, and to clarify, I am indeed gay. I look forward to learning more about you and having meaningful discussions about the importance of sarcasm.”

“My name is Logan, and I am also gay. That sounds pleasant indeed.” Logan shook Janus’s hand, and Patton and Virgil were excited to know that the original scorn had worn off and been replaced with interest.    
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



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